Sunday, 3 January 2010
To: You-know-who-you-are.
Ive been thinking a lot too..since ytd. maybe, before that ?
ive been asked the same question over again. i wanted to know why too...was it because i never did try hard enough to like you or was it because you rly felt like a bro to me ? e feeling of him pushing me to you hurts. thou it was a misunderstand on my part.. but i know he wants e best for me. you too.
some times i rly hate it. hate to choose. n it seems like ive always done the wrong things n regretting my actions. this time.. probably not. i cant be sure too. think thats my character flaw. not being decisive enough.
Hope you felt better after the talk. mayb then, you can forget me. i didnt know what to say to you. yeah. really apologetic that you have to go through this.. even if you say i dont have to be. dont know how to help too.
didnt know your friends thought of me that way. but mayb from a third party's point of view i'l think like this too. am i not a simple person ? idk. sometimes i dont even know the reason why i am doing this.
maybe i shouldnt have cared that much. idk. maybe its because 欠你的真的太多了. guilt conscious ? saying bout this. maybe thats the reason why i cant accept you. cos i'l never return it the same way as you do.
No, i wont hate you. Really.
thou sometimes you've been the cause of the unhappiness between me n him. i dont blame you. cos life has to go on. we have to learn to overcome it. also proves that theres rly smth to strengthen on for our relationship.
im sorry if i can only say this here. not in your face or anything. cant bring myself to. its more of like an after thought.. which happens most of the time for me.. cant rly like sort out my feelings or smth right on the spot. another character flaw.
yes, sorry. i cant be perfect too. some times really not worth the effort like what your friends say. & i think so too. Although ive been trying to tell you that...
Am i really worth the pain & sorrows ?
Rmb this, 不要为一个不值得你伤心的人伤心流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭.
Edit/
其实失败的不是你， 是一直选择逃避的我。 但现在已经学着面对。 希望你也是吧。
Thanks for letting me understand myself better.
what we could have been, 22:27.
