Sunday, 16 August 2009
Superficial (?)
i read a particular entry last night.. which i was initially unsure was about me.
then, i recalled/realized/confirmed that it IS about me. uh huh.
ive been thinking a lot since. i knew i couldnt say it straight out face to face, so yeah. im posting it here.
theres this slight misunderstanding i can say. i NEVER did treat anyone like a sand picked out from the street -.- the part bout e "someone to just laugh with". i think i thought it was like that. meaningless. at that point of time it felt like all we did is like just an everyday routine. nothing like what all other ppl shared. sometimes, i ask myself, why the concerns i get werent coming from those who were supposedly, the ones closes.
it was abnormal how i treated ppl this way. i admit. i isolated my myself from that circle. didnt want to continue the way how i felt that my piece didnt fit in. was the change not drastic enough for somebody to realize something was wrong ?
u didnt know how i felt. never asked. never tried to.
forget it. i dont exactly recall why i sorta you know, revert back to my old self.
maybe i thought it wasnt that important anymore? maybe i had wanted to make more memories for others to kept & i'ld rather put in more to make an effort to be involved?
still, sorry to those whom i treated badly during that period.
i believe this is the so called bridge to the second phase.
things aint getting better now though. with all the "funny funny stuff" coming.
i think theres seriously one big problem with most of us. not knowing how to ask why, and the unwillingness to say.
idk how it should be resolved cos it happened to happened to me too.
hmm.. -dont know what to say-
i'll end this post alrdy, cos i cant take it anymore.
i read a particular entry last night.. which i was initially unsure was about me.
then, i recalled/realized/confirmed that it IS about me. uh huh.
ive been thinking a lot since. i knew i couldnt say it straight out face to face, so yeah. im posting it here.
theres this slight misunderstanding i can say. i NEVER did treat anyone like a sand picked out from the street -.- the part bout e "someone to just laugh with". i think i thought it was like that. meaningless. at that point of time it felt like all we did is like just an everyday routine. nothing like what all other ppl shared. sometimes, i ask myself, why the concerns i get werent coming from those who were supposedly, the ones closes.
it was abnormal how i treated ppl this way. i admit. i isolated my myself from that circle. didnt want to continue the way how i felt that my piece didnt fit in. was the change not drastic enough for somebody to realize something was wrong ?
u didnt know how i felt. never asked. never tried to.
forget it. i dont exactly recall why i sorta you know, revert back to my old self.
maybe i thought it wasnt that important anymore? maybe i had wanted to make more memories for others to kept & i'ld rather put in more to make an effort to be involved?
still, sorry to those whom i treated badly during that period.
i believe this is the so called bridge to the second phase.
things aint getting better now though. with all the "funny funny stuff" coming.
i think theres seriously one big problem with most of us. not knowing how to ask why, and the unwillingness to say.
idk how it should be resolved cos it happened to happened to me too.
hmm.. -dont know what to say-
i'll end this post alrdy, cos i cant take it anymore.
what we could have been, 08:27.
